Monday, March 21, 2011

It's been a S L O W month


Just like I said weeks earlier, some weeks are HIGH weight loss weeks, others are not. March has been pretty slow for me. Time to bump it up. I found the P90X on Ebay for a STEAL so I ordered it. I've seen the infomercials for a few years now and I had read many reviews. This is a tremendous workout system and all 3 of us can benefit from it. Perfect timing, Christy is working a later shift, meaning I'll have the evenings to myself. I can come home from work, do the workout and then dinner and spend some time with Abby.

Tonight will be my FIRST workout on the plan and I'm as excited as I am terrified!! I KNOW my body is going to be SOOOOORRRRRREEEE for a good while, as in 90 days!! I've decided to go home, put on the bathing suit, have my picture taken and then take ALL my measurements. I am NOT excited about this part, but to monitor my progress, it's gotta be done. That being said, the picture will remain hidden in my computer, the world just isn't ready for that..hell, I'M not ready for that!!

So, new workouts ahead, staying the course with my WW's and as always, one day and a time. I have seen small changes in my mindset. We went to dinner at Red Lobster this weekend. I haven't been there in years. You'd have thought I was going to eat my weight in seafood...but I didn't. I actually ate MAYBE half the food on my plate and when I was...wait for it, SATISFIED I boxed the rest up. We both did this and commented how GREAT it felt to leave a restaurant NOT feeling stuffed. Small victory. Speaking of my Honey...she has managed to loose 20lbs! I am sure it's the way I've been eating that is helping her along. She's on the treadmill more,but her portions have really gotten smaller and we no longer have crap in our house. We laughed last night, because we ALL had a sweet craving and there wasn't one single sweet in the house!! We bought ONE item, shared it and that totally satisfied our craving. I'd rather do that, then buy a bunch of crap and have it in our cupboards. Again, small victory in how our minds are transforming.

This weekend the weather was GORGEOUS, so I dug out my spring clothes. I put on a pair of Capri's I wore during our honeymoon trip to Disney World. I was SHOCKED how big they are on me compared to how TIGHT they were when I wore them 5 months ago. That was a great feeling. I can't wait till I'm able to do more "Shopping" in my closet!

Till next time, we keep trucking along, one decision at a time, one bite at a time.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Detox was a bust but the 5K was awesome!

Okay, so I said I was going to be honest, no fibbing. The detox was a bust. Good intentions, just not in the zone for that right now. I tend to do better when Abby is gone in the summer. Nothing in the house that tempts me. I had a good week this time, no big weight loss, but I'm on the course.

I did my 3rd 5K and I felt the BEST I have after a race so far. We actually headed to the mall after the walk. The previous race, I was wiped out after. I can honestly say, I felt good, really good after this one. Abby however informed me, this would be her last walk with me. I was bummed, she's been my little cheerleader, but I kinda knew this was coming. She is a teenager and her Saturdays are meant to be spent sleeping in till noon ;)

For now, things are really starting to seem like a real "Lifestyle" as opposed to a diet. I've been eating the same way now for going on 4 month, and it really DOES become a habit. I don't think twice about what I eat for breakfat, lunch and dinner now. I pretty much eat the same types of foods. The only real PROBLEM time for me, is the weekends. Somehow,being at the office makes me acountable. Being at home, and going out to places is harder for me. I INTEND to eat good and make good choices, but sometimes it doesn't work out that way. I have only had a few weekends since I started WW's where I did NOT gain anything. My goal is to have more of those, not fewer. I find that if I preplan where we will go and what I can eat, I do better. I try to avoid Mexican places, as the temptation is just too much right now. I would use ALL my exra points right there.

So, it was a good week. My gown for my daughter's wedding came in and I only had to have ONE thing altered, my arms. Go figure, they're the size of a football players arms, so no shock at all. Iwas just glad it went on and zipped up. Snug, yes, but it looks GREAT. This meant I could breath and not panic. Anything I loose now, is a win win for me. I was terrified the dress wouldn't fit at all and I'd be tempted to starve myself...and we all know, that is just temporary and not healthy at all. I am eating SO healthy now, making the best choices in probably my adult life. I read every label, I choose veggies over chips, I'm taking my vitamins and I'm MOVING again.

What does this all mean? After 3 months, I can say, SLOW is better. I am slowly loosing but KEEPING it off and continuing to loose as I go. I said from the start this isn't a race. I already KNOW this is NOT the year I reach my WW goal. This IS the year I make a huge dent in my body!

Steady as I bite at a time, one descision at a time!

Sunday, February 27, 2011

You take the good you take the bad...

Last week was a GOOOOOOD weight loss week,the previous was a not so good week. I'm learning to go with the flow here. I'm so close to reaching my 10% goal. I get my key chain and first charm then. It's funny how a trinket can really motivate you, but I WANT that key chain, bad. It's a symbol of determination and more importantly, a reminder to me, that I set a goal, didn't quit, but rather, I ACCOMPLISHED it! Remember, I used to be a quitter.

So, during my great week, my partner bought me a bike I've been wanting for years. I got a PINK CADILLAC bike. Very retro, very 50's and I LOVE it. It has no speeds, all powered by ME. This means even more exercise. Let me tell you, when I took her for a spin, my legs felt like jello when I got off that bike. I hurt the next day as well. I forgot how much FUN riding a bike is, but I also forgot how much WORK goes into it as well. My online inspiration Sheryl has inspired me to ride a bike again, so thanks "Bitchcakes!"

I'm less than 85 days till my daughter's wedding now. So I am really feeling crunch time here. I've upped my veggie intake, decreased my carbs a bit, starting eating oatmeal for breakfast again, only this time, REAL oatmeal, not the pre-packed kind. All this and the results were a great weight loss, 3.2 lbs. Last night was a girls night out, LOTS of drinking and I ate half a burger, a BIG needless to say, today will be an ALL veggie day, to get me back on track. My goal was to be a certain weight by the 28th, I am DETERMINED to be there. It's a great starting number for March. In a perfect world, I'm hoping to loose 10 lbs in March AND in April, and hopefully 8 in May by the wedding. That is a BIG order and will require lots of determination and hard work. IF I don't meet those goals, but still do the work, then I will accept it and whatever weight I am the day of the wedding, will be a BIG improvement from where I started.

February has been an excellent month, much personal growth and for that I am very grateful. I'm looking forward to the challenges in bite at a time, one decision at a time!

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Detox time

Yes indeed. I've come so far but time is quickly approaching to my daughter's wedding day.That being said, I need a good BOOST and I need to CLEANSE my body really good. I will continue to do my WW's of course, but I will be detoxing for the next 90 days. This will be the LONGEST I've ever done for a cleanse and will require extreme amounts of discipline. That hasn't been my best quality, self control. However, the NEW Chris has done amazing things in 2.5 months, so I CAN do this.

What exactly is a cleanse you ask? It's detoxing all the toxins OUT of your body. It is a way of getting rid of bad habits and bad choices, only to replace them with better choices. During the first part of the cleanse I can't eat meat, alcohol, sugar, ANYTHING white, and most dairy. All of those things I will be okay with, and it won't kill me. I've been without meat before, I have NO problem eating soy based "meats".

I have to say, as scary as it sounds, I'm looking forward to a leaner me, a healthier me, and hoping I can say goodbye to a few things permanently. I know dairy is NOT good for you, and my sinuses suffer when I eat too much dairy. There are SO many other ways to get the calcium we need, dairy is NOT the only source.

I don't eat a lot of sugar but I know I eat HIDDEN sugars and those are just as bad. I need to really start to read labels more and be more aware of what I'm putting in my body. So, tomorrow I start something hard, something my body won't like but will BENEFIT my body. I will NOT quit because I am NO LONGER a quitter. I am a finisher, I know what the finish line looks like and its' BEAUTIFUL. This IS my time, the year I get healthy. And how will I do bite at a time, one decision at a time!

Monday, February 14, 2011

My 2nd 5K

WOW was my time better, I shaved 8.5 minutes off this baby!! The lessons I learned from my previous event really helped me out. I stretched out WAYYYY more this time and I am in NO pain today. I bought new running socks and my feet are in MUCH better shape than the last time. Just one blister and we determined I need RUNNING shoes. I'm looking at some New Balances', if anyone has any, let me know what you think about them. I carried water with me and ate before the race. I felt SO much better. I needed every bit of help because I was NOT prepared for ALLLLLLL the hills. Holy hell, many of them were very long and VERY steep. I will certainly look at the map of all future runs BEFORE I register. I was however, VERY disappointed with their volunteer staff. Maybe it's because I only have 1 event to compare them to, but I did NOT like being told to hurry up a thousand times. Ahhh, here's a thought, tell the RUNNERS to hurry, their here to RACE and they want to know their time. Walkers on the other hand, are WALKING and we're doing it simply for our health. Our only goal is to FINISH. I paid for this, I am walking and well, I've got WAY more weight on me than the athletes who were running, so give me a freaking break. Next time, I'll speak up for myself and politely tell them to leave me alone! Here is what I posted to my Facebook and I stand by this: "Sometimes, the LAST person to finish the race, is really the biggest winner of the day". Nobody at that event knew that just a few years back, I wouldn't walk down my driveway without being in utter pain and out of breath. Now, I'm walking and jogging in events. They have no clue about my journey, where I've been and who I am.

Other than that, I really enjoyed the challenge of this one. I slept like a baby last night too. Really excited about my next event in 2 more weeks. Tonight, I'll do some cross training. 10 minutes on the treadmill, 10 minutes of lunges and other exercises...doing 3 reps total. I will celebrate yesterdays' victory, with a harder workout. I will push myself a little bit harder and hopefully, next event, I'll do even better!

As always, I'll do this, one bite at a time, one decision at a time.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Slowing down, so time to bump it up!

Yup, things are starting to slow down now. This is my 3rd month and the weeks of 3-4 pound weight losses are going to be fewer now. I knew this would happen, and I tried to prepare myself emotionally for this, but in the end, it sucks.
I was really enjoying the ride while it lasted, but now comes the really hard stuff. I set a goal for myself for my daughter's wedding. That wedding is 100 days away now. That is nothing, and I know it will FLYYYYYY right on by. I can't stall, or waste a day. I have to make each day count. The hard part is KEEPING the momentum up. Everyone has a weak moment and I am no different. My weak moments really haven't been in the form of eating badly, but FORCING myself to work out longer. I've been doing the minimum and I need to pump it up. We have our next 5K this Sunday and I'm SOOO excited to see if I can have a faster time this round. I want to get the Run/Walk down by 5 minutes. I'm hopeful, so Sunday we'll see. I'm also hopeful the weather starts getting warmer so I can get OUTSIDE and walk. I love the treadmill but miss the sun.

As for my eating, I've been skipping breakfast, so that I can have more creamer in my coffee, yes the secret is out, it's the damn creamer I didn't want to give up. But I think my friend Sandy nailed it on the head. She challenged me to start eating breakfast again and YUP, "Things" started moving on outta me and my metabolism started working better. I've also been adding Flax Seed to my oatmeal in the mornings. I really DO see the difference. What Ive noticed is, I do GREAT during the week, but it seems SOMETHING always comes up on the weekends, and I'll put on 2 lbs.That something could be eating out, or having a few beers. It then takes me till Wed to get THAT off and I'm back to square one. Hence the 1.8 weight loss the past few weeks. I KNOW if I were staying on point on the weekends, I would be loosing that 2-2.5 per week again. It's just making it through the weekends.
As my sister keeps reminding, this is a lifelong JOURNEY, not a trip. A trip means we arrive and then leave again. This is a journey and it's forever. My entire adulthood has been about food addiction and me deciding to overcome that won't happen overnight. It will be a lifetime of lessons and "Aha" moments along the way. This week I realized a few things. I NEED to eat breakfast and back off my coffee. I NEED to find a LOW point creamer that tastes good. I NEED to stay on point during the weekends and I NEED to pump up my workouts. That being said, the treadmill calls me right now. I promise to post pictures of my next 5K and the time results. And, I'll keep doing all of this, one bite at a time, one decision at a time.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

My FIRST 5K and what I learned

Yes, it's official, I started and FINISHED a race....well kinda. It was a Run/Walk 5K and I mostly walked it. I actually surprised myself by jogging 1/8th of it. Really REALLY surprised myself, but I felt good and wanted to see how I would do. Soooo here is how the day went.

I got up at 6:30 to shower and put on my makeup. Yes, I don't go ANYWHERE without it and if I's mighty rare indeed!

Abby and I headed out to gas up the car and grab some coffee, this would later prove a mistake :)

We arrived at the RBC Center and because we were pre-registered, we walked in and got our goodies and our numbers. We each got a nice long sleeve Tshirt and a $500 gift certificate from Red Star. They sell sunglasses and want to expand their market to the states, so every runner got one. Sweeettttt deal. The website has some AWESOME glasses!!

Then we treked back to the car to put our goodies in the trunk and put on our number's, hats and gloves cuz it was COOOOOOLLLLLLD out!

There were over 2,000 runners so it was a great crowd. We mingled a bit and then we got in the HUGE line to wait for the gun. I have to say, it was SO exciting. We got our Ipods ready and did some more stretching and waited.

Once it was on,the crowd got moving and got moving FAST! It was real quick that the runners broke from the pack and the walkers were left. I was surprised to see that there were MORE walkers than runners. I somehow thought it would be the other way around . Lots of couples with dogs and babies in running strollers and lots of walking groups, great crowd.

Now....these are the few tid bids I learned from my FIRST event so here goes:

1. EAT before a race. I know, I can feel those eyes rolling right now. NO I didn't eat, but then, I almost never eat breakfast. I'm just not a breakfast person. I have to FORCE it down and that's never fun. I had my orange juice and coffee just like I always do.

2. Speaking of coffee....I had to pull into a BP to use the bathroom on the way to the event. The coffee kicked in and I totally panicked that it would KICK in again, during the race. Thankfully it did not...but I won't do that again.

3. Bring water. I know, again, huge mistake. I thought, it's ONLY a 5K, we'll be okay and they'll have water there at each mile. Nope. They ONLY offered water at mile 2. I also got a headache around mile 2, another sinus headache, yeah me. I wished I had some sinus meds at that moment.

4. Shoulda brought Chap Stick. My lips got pretty dried out there. It was COLD, windy and of course, the sun was out.

5. I over dressed for this. I looked like a green snowman! I had on Wayyyyyy too many shirts under my thick hoodie. I got hot during mile one, but didn't want to stop to take EVERYTHING I had in my hoodie pockets, out and then take off the hoodie to only have to stuff my Ipod and keys back into my pockets, cell phone and tie the hoodie around my waist. Nope, I just suffered and sweat my ass off. Sweating is not a bad thing, but alllll those clothes weighed a lot too, so I would have felt lighter and better.

6. Wear appropriate socks and shoes. I have recently bought new running shoes and I LOVE them, but their not fully broke in yet. That being said, I KNEW not to wear those. I also don't have running socks, so I borrowed Christy's. Now she wears men's socks, and they were TOOOOO big for my feet. That meant the heel was up my ankle and the front of the socks were bunched up. Last night I had lovely blisters and the skin came off the top of one toe where it rubbed. The tennis shoes were TOO tight because of the HUGE socks, hence the blisters.

7. I DID learn that when some people pass you by, they say things like, "You got this, keep it up" and "Doing great".

8. I learned that as I hit mile 2.5 I got a sudden spurt of energy and started jogging, I knew I was approaching the finish of the race.

9. There is NO better feeling than seeing the FINISH sign. In all of my life, I don't think I've ever been in a race or passed through a finish sign so I was excited.

10. That I LOVE those ladies who saw me jogging and asked if they could finish with me. They said I was an HONORARY LEMON DROP for the day.

11. That at the finish line there are people who stick around JUST to cheer for the finishers. How nice is that?

12. I never expected to get emotional running under that sign but all I could think of is, "Remember when you were almost 350 lbs 7 years ago? Who would have ever thought I could do this?" There were tears....

13. I was and am forever grateful that Abby walked with me. She was SO encouraging and sweet. I love her so much.

14. The banana they offered after the race and Gatorade never tasted so good.

Sooo, I learned a few things and next race, next month will be better. I'm sure I'll be learning quite a few things as I participate in these things. I know this, it was an EXCELLENT experience and it IS addictive, I WILL be doing another one next month!!!

As always, I'll take it one bite at a time and one decision at a time.

Friday, January 28, 2011

My first ZERO weight loss week...

And let me tell ya, it just plain sucks. I can't blame anyone so I must take responsibility for my actions. I was sick for a few days and ate like crap. I started to feel better and ate worse. We went to our friends house and I drank too many lite beers and ate TOO much food. Ironically, my friends both do WW's like myself, but I was so excited about the 1 point foods they were offering, I ate a TON of them...that along with the beer, not so good. I hopped right back on the treadmill and have been eating on POINT again, but that just evened out what I probably gained. In the end, weigh in= ZERO weight loss:(

What have I learned from last week? Quite a bit actually. While sick at home, I was face to face with the kitchen and NO accountability. Just me and the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Those bitches eat out ALL the time...but I did notice they pick at their food and eat small portions. So yeah, I really do best when I'm on my routine. I have that accountability at work, because EVERYONE knows I'm doing WW's. At home, my partner & daughter are always there, so I do well then. However, when I'm alone and it's me and the kitchen, the kitchen still tends to win. Eating out is hard for me too. The temptations are huge. I seem to do better when we choose a place that I KNOW has a great salad and I KNOW how many points it is. It's when we choose Mexican that I fall to pieces. It's hard for me, and these are areas in my life I'm going to have to work through. I remember reading something from Sheryl, the woman online that I follow. She said she asked herself, these THINGS that I do that I KNOW are bad, they are the ONLY things that keep me from achieving my goal. Those THINGS are what is holding me back and yet, I HOLD onto them? It's the self destructive behavior that only I can break. That is why they call this a LIFESTYLE CHANGE, not a diet.

So here I am, back on track, feeling good and ready to move forward and not focus on last week. Last week was a lesson learned. I basically threw away the opportunity to loose 2 more pounds. I have to stay on my schedule to achieve MY goal and to do this, I can't afford another week of NO weight loss. Focus Chris, focus. See the big picture, know that my daughter's wedding is just 111 days away, and time is a gift.

I AM however, very excited about my FIRST Run/Walk event tomorrow. My daughter and I are walking it!!! We're doing the ALL STAR 5K event in Raleigh at 9am. WAYYY excited about this. I promised myself last year to do ONE event a month and I never did it. THIS year WILLLLLL be different. I'll let you know how we do in next weeks' blog. For now, I am taking this, one bite at a time, one decision at a time.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

How can January be almost over?

Time, she sure is FLYING by...and I am desperate to beat the clock. Last weigh in, I lost 1.8lbs. To date, I've lost 23lbs, but according to WW's, just 13lbs. I've been keeping 2 separate tabs on my weight loss and as I've mentioned before, it is confusing, so I'm just going to post my WW totals.

I have had a great week with some minor victories. I tried on the cocktail dress I wore to my ceremony, back in Oct. WOW, what a difference. I've since been able to wear a pair of jeans I couldn't even get over my hips and I'm wearing a few blouses I forgot about. Slowly, things are are fitting better. It's nice to be able to go "Shopping" in my closet!

I need to get in the habit of taking a full body picture every 10lbs, so I can track my weight loss through pictures, as we know, those NEVER lie. People ask me all the time, where is your BEFORE pictures?? Ahhh, every single one of my wedding pictures, we my before. I cringe when I look at them.

I mentioned in a previous blog, that I have put up a collage of pictures with my head on some dresses and outfits, it sits right above the treadmill. I have to look right at it, it's my target, my goal. I need that, I have surrounded myself with pictures of my thinner body, all over my workstation. I also think I have found the gown I'll wear to my daughter's wedding. Again, it is also sitting right in front of me at work, ALL day long I see it. I am very aware of the fact that I have NO time to spare. I can't afford a "Few bad days". I have to make EVERY day count, as I've wasted too many days, too many years already. NOW is my time.

Tomorrow I weigh in and I am confident I will have made my goal of another 2lbs. If I can do that, I will be a few dress sizes smaller for the wedding and I'll be just 5ish lbs away from my thinnest since the LAST time I lost weight...for our VEGAS trip. I have so much coming up, so many amazing events that I want to look and FEEL great for.
I remember feeling horrible about myself at my son's wedding. I didn't want to get up and dance because of how huge I was. I didn't like my gown, but it was all I could find in my size...I refuse to repeat that again. I am in the zone...anyone who has ever lost weight knows what "The Zone" is. It's an amazing place where nobody or nothing can defeat you. Your so focused on your goal that you are able to SEE the final goal. I'm there. I know I will have weeks where I will work my ass off and loose nothing. I am aware that plateaus are very real. I'm just not there right now, so for now, today, I will enjoy this moment.

If you are doing Weight Watchers, then you must know how EASY this is? I mean,they've done all the work for you, all we have to do is eat the right foods and move. It's science. Less food in+ eating healthier choices + exercise= LOOSING WEIGHT

January has been an awesome month. I've found some great snacks. One of my favorites to munch on at work, is ANN'S HOUSE, SOY ENERGY BLEND. I found it at Costco. Just 4pts for 1/4 cup. It has soy nuts, dried cranberries, sunflower seeds and almonds. GREAT energy booster, and it's crunchy so I LOVE that part. Very satisfying. I also found out from my WW buddy Ryan, that MGD64 is just 2 pts. WOW, I thought I was having to give up my beer or waste my extra points on that. Nope, there IS a low calorie beer. The taste is NOT like my beloved Blue Moon or the ever fantastic CORONA...but well, as with this whole journey, it's about choices.

I have also found I'm cooking more at home now. We look online for great WW recipes and we modify the old ones. I LOVE Beef Stroganoff and found a great one online. Again, all about choices. The days of opening a can and adding meat, or opening a box and adding water are gone. I make almost my entire meals now from scratch. We just feel more satisfied after. Amazing how that works.

Soooo, looking back, I've made it through the holidays, with NO weight gain, rather, a significant weight LOSS. I'm excited about what the next 12 days will hold. I would like to loose 4 more pounds this month, and I feel I can do bite at a time, one decision at a time!

Monday, January 10, 2011

Little did I know..

Last week, I was feeling kinda, well, so-so. That was BEFORE I weighed in. Ahhh, 2.2 lbs folks!! I almost couldn't stand still I was so excited! Soooo, in a way, my goal of loosing 20lbs by the end of the year, almost DID happen. I have been keeping 2 running tabs of weight loss. The amount I lost before WW and of course my WW numbers. It's too confusing to everyone, so from here on out, I'm just mentioning my WW results. That being said, I lost 9lbs in Dec. Remember the goal of TWO pounds per week? I rocked that out AND it was the holidays!! Again, I could barely sit through the meeting!

I have to say, that really motivated me for this week. I am ONLY looking at my current week. Anything else and I feel the pressure of time constraints. So, THIS week my goal is another 2lbs. I'm finding that planning my whole days worth of food is best for me. I track my points online and create dinner recipes too. Tonight, Chris's Stroganoff, WW style. Just 9 points. For me, I need to know where my guidelines are and if I start the day off KNOWING how many points it will all be, I find I don't eat stuff I don't need. I know we have those 49 extra points, but I prefer to save them for the weekends. This weekend we're shopping for my daughter's wedding gown and her bridesmaids dresses! That means, eating lunch out with the girls and probably a drink. I need to save those precious 49 points!

I've noticed, the more on point I am, the more I WANT to get on the treadmill and rock that out! I keep forgetting to post my mini collage of MOTIVATIONAL pictures. I keep it directly in front of me while I walk. The more I want to quit I look at the pictures and remember, I DO have a wedding coming up and I AM going to Vegas! I refuse to go to those events at my current weight. With each pound I loose, I tell myself, "Goodbye, I'll NEVER see you again!" It helps, to know this IS a lifestyle change. The old Chris is gone, really gone. I have more energy and I just generally feel better. I've only lost enough to put a small dent in me, but I have to say, I FEEL better and my attitude is charged up. It's also contagious. My partner just texted me her results on the treadmill. We're doing this together and it's awesome!

Thursday is my weigh in and I'm excited to see what I do this week. Key, just THIS week. Focus on the here and now. NOW is my time, today, here and now...I can feel it, one bite at a time, one decision at a time!

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

It's a NEW dawn it's a NEW day it's a NEW life...

And I'm Yeah I know, let down right? Me too. I didn't reach my 20lb goal by the new year. It's been an interesting few weeks. My daughter left to spend time with her dad and my partner left to spend time with her family. How did this effect me? I realized I NEED people for the accountability. When the cats away, well, I sure did mess up!! I didn't count my points, I averaged them. I skipped meals so I could eat the WRONG foods for dinner. I had more than ONE beer a night....did I gain weight? Yup, 4 lbs. Have I lost it? Yup, but that puts me back to square one before they left. In reality, I wasted a valuable week. I'm pretty upset with myself. I know what I did and I know what I SHOULD have done. I didn't eat the veggies and fruits like I should have and I never got on the treadmill. Now, in my defense, I worked overtime everyday. By the time I got home, got dinner, took care of dogs, it was late and I was exhausted. I just watched TV in bed and was asleep by 9. Now...I was OFF Friday-Monday. I had NO excuse for those wasted days. I could have exercised, I could have jump roped, I could have done my Wave workout. I chose not to. I hurt myself and nobody else. I back tracked and now I make up for lost time.
I'm in a huge time crunch here, so I started panicking. My good friend and WW hero, told me something I KNEW, but needed to hear again. IF I loose just TWO pounds a week, I would have lost 40 by my daughter's wedding and 62 by my VEGAS trip. That is doable to me. I may not have lost 50 by the wedding but to have lost 40 is VERY good and will make a big difference in how I look and feel. It also means I would look GREAT for the Vegas trip and THAT really excited me. Just TWO pounds a week..2 little pounds. I CAN do it.

It's a NEW dawn and a NEW day for us. The ONLY thing to keep us from reaching ALL our goals is our minds. I thought about that on the treadmill the other night. I was going over in my mind, about all the reasons I didn't workout the prior week and why I ate things I KNEW I shouldn't have. It ALL started in my fucking mind. It's not like my body just took off for the kitchen and I was screaming NO NO please don't make me eat those Frito's...please body I really wanna workout, why are you just sitting here watching those fucking fake women on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. No, it never went down like that, not even close. My BODY only does what the brain TELLS it to do. My selfish weak brain wanted the damn Frito's and my brain had NO desire to tell the lazy body to get OFF the couch and RUN away from those women whom I have NOTHING in common with. Nope, I allowed my brain to win over the body which by the way, NONE of you see how skinny my brain is, but you ALL see how fat my ass and thighs are. It's a no brainer, no pun intended!

So, all in all, yes I wasted a week but I can't fix that now. I realized I will still abuse food when given the opportunity. I still need to be accountable, I need rules and I need eyes on me at home. I realized only I can change my destiny and my body. And I realized that loosing TWO pounds a week is something I CAN do and it WILL result in awesome weight loss.

2011 look out because I'm SO ready for the challenge. This is MY year for transformation and MY year for gaining my confidence and strength bite at a time, one decision at a time.