And I'm feeling....so-so. Yeah I know, let down right? Me too. I didn't reach my 20lb goal by the new year. It's been an interesting few weeks. My daughter left to spend time with her dad and my partner left to spend time with her family. How did this effect me? I realized I NEED people for the accountability. When the cats away, well, I sure did mess up!! I didn't count my points, I averaged them. I skipped meals so I could eat the WRONG foods for dinner. I had more than ONE beer a night....did I gain weight? Yup, 4 lbs. Have I lost it? Yup, but that puts me back to square one before they left. In reality, I wasted a valuable week. I'm pretty upset with myself. I know what I did and I know what I SHOULD have done. I didn't eat the veggies and fruits like I should have and I never got on the treadmill. Now, in my defense, I worked overtime everyday. By the time I got home, got dinner, took care of dogs, it was late and I was exhausted. I just watched TV in bed and was asleep by 9. Now...I was OFF Friday-Monday. I had NO excuse for those wasted days. I could have exercised, I could have jump roped, I could have done my Wave workout. I chose not to. I hurt myself and nobody else. I back tracked and now I make up for lost time.
I'm in a huge time crunch here, so I started panicking. My good friend and WW hero, told me something I KNEW, but needed to hear again. IF I loose just TWO pounds a week, I would have lost 40 by my daughter's wedding and 62 by my VEGAS trip. That is doable to me. I may not have lost 50 by the wedding but to have lost 40 is VERY good and will make a big difference in how I look and feel. It also means I would look GREAT for the Vegas trip and THAT really excited me. Just TWO pounds a week..2 little pounds. I CAN do it.
It's a NEW dawn and a NEW day for us. The ONLY thing to keep us from reaching ALL our goals is our minds. I thought about that on the treadmill the other night. I was going over in my mind, about all the reasons I didn't workout the prior week and why I ate things I KNEW I shouldn't have. It ALL started in my fucking mind. It's not like my body just took off for the kitchen and I was screaming NO NO please don't make me eat those Frito's...please body I really wanna workout, why are you just sitting here watching those fucking fake women on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. No, it never went down like that, not even close. My BODY only does what the brain TELLS it to do. My selfish weak brain wanted the damn Frito's and my brain had NO desire to tell the lazy body to get OFF the couch and RUN away from those women whom I have NOTHING in common with. Nope, I allowed my brain to win over the body which by the way, NONE of you see how skinny my brain is, but you ALL see how fat my ass and thighs are. It's a no brainer, no pun intended!
So, all in all, yes I wasted a week but I can't fix that now. I realized I will still abuse food when given the opportunity. I still need to be accountable, I need rules and I need eyes on me at home. I realized only I can change my destiny and my body. And I realized that loosing TWO pounds a week is something I CAN do and it WILL result in awesome weight loss.
2011 look out because I'm SO ready for the challenge. This is MY year for transformation and MY year for gaining my confidence and strength back....one bite at a time, one decision at a time.
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