Thursday, December 9, 2010

Tonight, my 1st weigh in...

YIKES! I'm scared as hell. This is where the rubber hits the road. First week, and I wasn't hungry, I made good choices, better than I have in years. Sooo, why am I scared? Failure. I don't want to fail, again. I've started SO many programs, SO many diets only to fail. I know, if I just DO what I'm told, count my points, eat my fruits an veggies, drink my water and EXERCISE then the weight WILL come off. I just want it to come of in tens, I want it to FLY off...and that isn't realistic. They say not to give yourself a time frame, but I can't help to look forward 5 months to my daughter's wedding. I don't want to look BAD like I did for my son's. I look at those pictures in disgust. WHY did I gain 70 pounds after I worked SO hard to get it off? WHY did I fall back to old ways that I KNOW were going to be bad for me? WHY did I stop exercising when I was doing so good at it? I have many regrets when it comes to my it's time to turn regret into RESPONSIBLE. It's time I take the reigns of MY health and stop letting FOOD control me, but rather, ME control the food.

I say all this, in an effort to ready myself because I know,I did not have a 10 pound weight loss this week. I know, this is okay, that ANYTHING I've lost is a victory over old habits. I just finished my lunch, a veggie sandwich and that's it till my weigh in. I'll pick up a salad on the way home from the meeting. Subway chicken breast salad is just 6 points, with 2 left over for salad dressing. I plan to hop on the treadmill like I do every night. I will NOT be discouraged and over eat. I WILL be thankful for ANY success I've had this week and celebrate by walking on my treadmill. There was a time when I couldn't even do that and I will NEVER forget how my quality of life, at 341 pounds was. It wasn't living, it was merely existing. The picture I posted was at my heaviest and I was miserable. I can never live like that again, I refuse to do it. The picture on the right is me at my thinnest, since putting on weight at the age of 20. That is my goal for Amanda's wedding. I have 59lbs to go in 5 months. I am hopeful I will get there sooner, rather than later. One bite at a time, one decision at a time...


  1. So proud of you! Dieting and exercising with you! I am gunna cheer you on the whole way Baby!!!

  2. Thanks Tina, your an amazing friend!